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Hindsight

by Sundergeist

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1.
The Depths 02:31
Maestus Phantasma Obscurus Genesis
2.
Hindsight 03:56
I can think of a million things along the way That misdirected me Now it's abundantly clear that if I could go back I'd do them differently I beat my fists on the system and complained About a world that's not designed for me But a quarter century brings with it A new kind of clarity Can't look away Got some things to say Spilt milk has now gone sour Can't look away Got demons to slay In retribution for the hours they devoured Hey This is the price I pay Hey This is the price I pay And now I spit on the voices of the vacant ones The sons of vanity Who peddle venom as advice just lies Designed to undermine me I tried to fit in their philosophy Until that little box got too tight for me 'Cos what the fuck do they know about Blazing trails of non-conformity? Can't look away Got some things to say About regret in the twilight of Humanity Can't look away So get out my way If nothing matters sing the anthem of futility Hey This is the price I pay Hey This is the price I pay Hey Ten thousand wasted days Hey This is the price I pay And to the past me: Rest in peace Those who afflicted me: Feel disease (You know who you are) (You know who you are) To those who nourished me Saw what was underneath: It was your faith in me That set me free (You know who you are) You know You know who you are Hey This is the price I pay Hey This is the price I pay Hey Ten thousand wasted days Hey This is the price I pay
3.
It starts when you fall apart When the fabric of sanity starts to unravel And the stone that once was your heart Breaks down into parts, becoming the gravel Of the path that leads you astray You stand in one place and in this way you travel You cease to exist, despite what they say No longer defined by the voice of the rabble Now you are destroyed, a speck in the void No longer a toy of the tide and the weather Now the collar that made you obey Has started to fray, your leash has been severed You're a vessel filled with potential That stretches from here to the shores of forever You are a puzzle You pick up the pieces And you fit them together Answers lie behind closed eyes What's left to do But dance? What's left to say But nothing at all? What's left to fear But fear itself? Your kingdom of silence Beyond the wall A moment of peace, serenity reigns You are the immaculate, fortunate one Until there appears a sinister shade That towers above you and blacks out the sun Something about it feels so familiar Like you know that you've seen it before When you extend your hand in a truce You get a fist, the language of war Wearing your skin, smiling with your grin It is the parts of you that you abhor Eating your dreams, this thing is you Come to settle the score Answers hide inside old lies What's left to do But dance? What's left to say But nothing at all? What's left to fear But fear itself? Your kingdom of silence Beyond the wall Answers lie behind closed eyes Answers hide inside old lies Emancipate from the bonds of superiority You are an offering to the gods of asymmetry Beyond the wall Beyond the wall Beyond the wall What's left to do But dance? (The walls come down) What's left to say But nothing at all? (The walls come down) What's left to fear But fear itself? (The walls come down) Beautiful nihilist Internal violence No longer defines us Beyond the wall Beyond the wall Beyond the wall
4.
Weatherman 06:28
Storm's coming So it seems Another summer on my knees Currents dragging me From the shore and out to sea Indoors Trapped again Monsoon rages through the window pane Eye of the hurricane Sees the folly of my games It's not a crime to resign If you wisely choose how you spend your time The sunshine won't last forever Relinquish control of the weather Sunburn Withering Sacred ritual of shedding skin Mother administers the medicine While my father whispers through the wind It's not a crime to resign If you wisely choose how you spend your time The sunshine won't last forever Relinquish control of the weather 'Neath the screams from winds on dark horizons Come the answers you long thought were forgotten Thunder drowns out the sound of your blind reason What remains withstands the changing seasons now And when I walk through fields serene And when the stores they have been plundered All the abundance in between Give me pain and famine and hunger I will not ask you what it means All the intentions torn asunder Give me rain and give me thunder Give me rain and give me thunder Give me rain and give me thunder Give me rain and give me thunder (It's not a crime) (It's not a crime) (It's not a crime) It's not a crime to resign If you wisely choose how you spend your time The sunshine won't last forever Relinquish Relinquish Control Control of the weather
5.
I found God He was out in the back Getting high on the thoughts and prayers I found God He said, “Hey, long time Could you score me a little more fear?” I said, “Hey Where the fuck have you been? Been ghostin' me all these years” I found God He said, “Hold up son Got me mixed up with someone who cares” (Glory to God) Droppin' our calls Throwin' up walls Grabbin' your share (Hallelujah) But Heaven knows when there's real work to be done You're never there (He is deliverance) Sayin' we're sick Sayin' we're tired I'm sayin' we're through (Amen) But heaven knows how many bodies We would crawl over to get to you I found God All spun out on mercy Drawing an imaginary line I found God Dividing the pure and obedient ones From the swine He looked mad He pointed and said “See those ones I ain't got to yet? Well I don't trust them They're up to something They look too peaceful They must be a threat I'm the enabler Of his behaviour Even though I know it's wrong But it just feels so damn good To belong (Glory to God) Droppin' our calls Throwin' up walls Grabbin' your share (Hallelujah) But Heaven knows when there's real work to be done You're never there (He is deliverance) Sayin' we're sick Sayin' we're tired I'm sayin' we're through (Amen) But heaven knows how many bodies We would crawl over to get to you I found God He was charging a stack For admission to VIP I said, “What? I should be on that list Could you make an exception for me?” He said, “Brother You're welcome to enter So long as you're free from sin But if you're a faggot A tranny A harlot A skeptic An addict An infant A woman A native The Media A person of science Or if you're just different You're not allowed in I found God OD'd on hubris Choked to death on his own tongue Sad way to go But I reckon a few thousand years Is a pretty good run We did all we could It's time to move on And remember the last thing he said I found God The last thing he said was
6.
Pandemonium 04:56
Smiles are designed To imply that everything's fine The truth is misaligned And everything is in decline Long gone are the days When I could think in a straight line So take my life's design And stick it where the sun don't shine Sort pleasure from pain As if the choice belonged to me Not like it matters By the time this day's complete No save point, no rewind Just space and time I can ride the razor out of danger If I'm so inclined Nod my head and pretend like I can comprehend Go with it now, just play along My jaw falls open and despite what I intend It all just comes out wrong Dreams die Between the hours of nine and five The more I run (Change lanes) The more my world becomes undone (Life drained) Begin with much and end with none (Nothing gained) My efforts are a zero sum (Chaos reigns) It's pandemonium Folks round here keep talkin' 'Bout the voices in their head But I can't hear mine over the buzz 'Cos it sounds like a hundred thousand promises made By some person that I was Congrats You've made it to the end Now start that shit show all over again The more I run (Change lanes) The more my world becomes undone (Life drained) Begin with much and end with none (Nothing gained) My efforts are a zero sum (Chaos reigns) It's pandemonium Goddammit The more I run (Change lanes) The more my world becomes undone (Life drained) Begin with much and end with none (Insane) Screw this noise, I'm fucking done (Chaos reigns) It's pandemonium Had me a notion And I set that thing in motion But my precious thoughts got lost Inside all the commotion And my unfinished symphonies Sink into the abyss I still have no idea Where the fuck I was going with this
7.
The Surface 05:49
I barely escaped with my life From the shadows that swim underneath And the surface is calm After the storm But I've forgotten how to breathe Too many days adrift Corroded away from the salt and the sun And as the horizon shifts I'm held in place by the fear That I might be the only one Cold black clouds converge above the surface Turbulence and doubt above the surface The ghosts visit me in my dreams And they tell me there's not far to go And the surface is calm After the storm But there's a storm brewing down below Below Cold black clouds converge above the surface Turbulence and doubt above the surface Cold black clouds converge above the surface Turbulence and doubt above the surface People calling, hear them in the distance Forgotten how to breathe as I sink Down, down, down, down Down, down, down, down Down Cold black clouds converge above the surface Turbulence and doubt above the surface People calling, hear them in the distance Forgotten how to breathe as I sink Down, down, down Sinking down, down, down Sinking down, down, down, down Down

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The début album by Sundergeist

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released December 16, 2020

Written, Recorded, Mixed & Mastered by Ric Shields
Phantasma Records 2020

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Sundergeist Cape Town, South Africa

Bold Industrial Alt-Rock from Cape Town, South Africa

After the devastating onslaught of COVID-19, Sundergeist emerges into the outside world, seeking to bind those who are willing to listen through catharsis and the communion of our shared experiences of life. ... more

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